In response to the polite phone conversation starter "So what are you up to?" my friend Amber, a busy SAHM with four beyond-cute kids who are active in (you name it), who also is in charge of primary(our ward's children's ministry) and does (who knows what else), replied "You know - living the dream." And even though we laughed, I really think she means it.
This is something that has been on my mind lately. Living the dream. What is my dream? I am a mother of two who is constantly TOO busy with a husband who also works hard. I do contract instructional design work and get paid a not-at-all-too-shabby amount to do it. I can set my hours, can work from home and do what I enjoy. Perfect job, right? And we don't even have to pay childcare because I watch my friend's little boy twice a week and she watches my kids twice a week.
Yet I am unable to give 100% to anything. And that frustrates me. I have wrestled with what to do about this for a few months.
Thus, I have decided to stop working and just be a stay at home mom for the time being once I finish out my contracts. Maybe someday when my kids are older and the perfect job opportunity arises, I will reconsider. But right now, they need their Mama at home and my husband needs someone to support him at this time in his life like he supported me while I went through school. And, as much as I do not LOVE doing domestic chores, they have to get done, and there is something that can be said when a house has order and my baby doesn't have to live with dog hair in his diaper. I worked way too hard to get my babies here in our family to not be there for as much of their lives as I can and provide a home for them that gives them a place to thrive.
Besides, I want to have the time to do the other things that matter most to me - like helping others who need help, serving the Primary kids at church, attending the temple on a regular basis, staying in touch with my family, spending time with my friends, writing to my blog, scrapbooking, smocking, running, cooking healthy meals, etc.
I am grateful I earned my Master's and had the opportunity to work for the many years I did. It was the right decision at the time. Now, this is the right time to scale back and hunker down in my nest and take care of my baby birds.
My friend Becky says to me quite often that "You can have it all, just not all right now." And something about that saying solidifies the peaceful assurance that I am making the right decision.