I read this online today:
Conviction, determination, and tenaciousness are all as much a part of being strong willed as are incurable temper tantrums. So my 'parenting the strong willed toddler' tip of the day is to learn to look at these battle of the wills differently. Learn to see what could become rather than what is at the immediate moment.Hmmm, sounds a little like me, minus the tantrums part.
I keep praying for patience, but really, I would just like someone to tell me what I need to do to see more of the sweet girl I know is hiding down inside this toddler. Anyone got some good advice? Or at least some parenting books I could read?
Terrified for when we bring the new baby home.
4 comments:
A lot of the trouble probably does result from her age and those unavoidable "terrible twos." But remember, too, that her world will be turned upside down when the baby comes, and she knows it. She knows something is up -- that mom is not herself and things are changing. We had similar problems with Garrett shortly before Caleb was born, and it didn't help that it was late summer and I was miserable and uncomfortably pregnant. Hang in there. Things will get better once the baby is here. Not immediately, of course. But if you make sure to involve her in welcoming her sibling (I can't remember...it's a boy, right?), that will help. Give her some responsibilities relating to the baby (throwing his diapers in the trash or retrieving fresh ones, etc), and as your life finds a new normal, hers will, too.
I think it's definitely her age. My sweet two year old is the same way lately. The twos are filled with tantrums and whining. It has happened here twice. While you will want to pull out your hair at times, just remember that it WILL get better with age. Also, here's your warning about the trying threes! They have a new set of challenges. Just enjoy your sweet babies and keep parenting. You're doing a great job!
I felt like it was all a test of my endurance. There were days the screaming was so loud and so often I considered earplugs, because I was maxing out on the tylenol. But one day at a time, we endured. Then three really has been hard, just in a different way. And we're enduring it one day at a time. I didn't know she'd act out against her brother when he was like 9 months old. I thought it happened at the beginning of bringing him home. But you don't really need to hear what happened to me, because Heavenly Father has a whole different deck of cards for you to decide what to do with. I know you will seek His help and do your best. That's all you have to do. But on the especially hard days, throwing some chocolate in the equation can help! :)
Each age brings its own challenges and each child is different. I found thats tantrums are usually the result of a child trying to control their world. They are more frequent when they are tired, hungry, etc. I would say to let her think she has more control of the situation. Give her lots of choices about things. Each choice has to be something that you are ok with. Such as you can peanut butter or turkey for a sandwich. And milk or water to drink. Let her "control" those things, then hopefully less fits will follow. Also with the new baby, always refer to the baby as our baby or her baby. And we always had the baby bring the sibling a small gift home from the hospital. Good luck!
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