At a loss

The terrible twos.  Or at least this is what I am hoping it is with Elisabeth because then that means there may be an end in sight for all the temper tantrums, incessant whining, and battle of wills we have had every day as of late.

I read this online today:

Conviction, determination, and tenaciousness are all as much a part of being strong willed as are incurable temper tantrums. So my 'parenting the strong willed toddler' tip of the day is to learn to look at these battle of the wills differently. Learn to see what could become rather than what is at the immediate moment.

Hmmm, sounds a little like me, minus the tantrums part. 

I keep praying for patience, but really, I would just like someone to tell me what I need to do to see more of the sweet girl I know is hiding down inside this toddler.  Anyone got some good advice?  Or at least some parenting books I could read? 

Terrified for when we bring the new baby home. 

This time around

I can't believe I have less than two months before "Baby Brother" arrives.  With Elisabeth, I kept a detailed pregnancy journal.  With this baby, not so much.  Here is my attempt to start a journal for him.  Sorry, bub.  The curse of being the 2nd born, I guess.

• Peanut Butter - Can't get enough of it.  That and watermelon.  (Not to mention smoothies and carrot cake.)
• Where's the Beef? - Can't stand chicken at all this pregnancy.  I rarely make it and I will only order it if it is on a salad at a restaurant.
• Laid-back personality?  - His heart rate is much slower than his sister's was.  My OBGYN always claims that he likes to relax when she finds his heartbeat on the doppler.  We are hoping she is right.
• Fit Mama - I have consistently exercised three times a week.  Between Zumba, water aerobics, the eliptical, walking, swimming and prenatal yoga, I have tried to stay active.  As a result, I have gained much less weight so far than I have with Elisabeth. I think I might even be smaller.  (See picture below.  What do you think?)
• Ouch! - Those are my ribs!  This baby LOVES to stretch out and hook his toes behind my ribs.  
• Catching my ZZZZ's - I am utterly exhausted all the time.  I am convinced it has more to do with recovering from grad school, chasing after an active 2 year old all day and our recent move, but I am sure my gestating of another human being has something to do with it.  
• Name Game - We haven't decided on a name yet.  We figured we would go to the hospital with a few names we like and then decide.  Three things we did decide on - all of our children will have one family name, their names will have meaning, and their names will most likely be classic, old fashioned names.  
• Hynobaby - I am going to try to go au natural this go around.  As a result we are taking a Hypnobabies class.  Call me crazy, call me brave, call me whatever.  Let's just see how it goes.

One thing remains a constant.  I love being pregnant.  Besides the stressful first trimester when I am considered "high risk," there is nothing more that I enjoy than being able to carry and grow a miracle in my body for nine months.  Nothing is more divine or makes me feel closer to Heavenly Father.  I still feel twinges of sadness when I think of all of those women out there who want children and can't have them.  That is one question I am sure to ask after I die.

Putting off until tomorrow

Here is pretty how much every night goes for me. 

Around 7:30 p.m., I put Elisabeth to bed.
I then sit on the computer to check my email - saying I will only be on there 20 minutes.
An hour later, I start to visualize all the things that need to be done.
An hour and a half later, I give into exhaustion and decide it can all wait until tomorrow. 
Amazing how much stuff piles up when you put off today what you can do tomorrow.

But, we are moved into our new home.  Are mostly unpacked besides the non-essentials - like pictures on the walls, books on our shelves, and knick-knacks on the fireplace.  We finished planning and attended our family reunion.  Had a blast but glad to have that behind us.  And I've got 7 weeks to gather up enough energy to nest.  And dream about the relaxing vacations I can't wait to take again with Lance - like the one we took in May to the Central Coast. 

Moving, moving, moving

After a discussion with my SIL Lisa over the phone, she indicated she thought I liked to be crazy-busy after I told her all we had going on this summer.   I laughed.  Maybe she is right.  I don't know if I LIKE it, but I do know I am used to it.  I need to be de-programmed I guess.  Are there any self-help groups out there for people who are over-scheduled all the time?  If so, send me the info. I think I need it.

To spare you the lengthy explanation of all the balls I am juggling in the air this month and next, here is my check-list to give you an idea.  (Just so you know, it is Lance's and my turn to plan his family reunion so that is why our checklist is so long.)


Kristi's To Do List - July
Moving Stuff (To do before July 19th)
- Contact Movers to get quotes
- Arrange time to sign lease w/ new landlord
- Request packing help from friends
- Go through house to find stuff to sell at garage sale
- Price garage sale stuff
- Make signs for garage sale
- Create filing system & file papers in office
- Pack up the house
- List washer/dryer on Craigslist.org
- Move over breakables/etc. to our new home July 17th
- Return the guest bed to our neighbor

Family Reunion Stuff (To do before July 31st)
- Make plane reservations
- Verify hotel reservations
- Order tickets for Silver Dollar City
- Pass on info to BIL to order t-shirts
- Reserve boats for boating day
- Plan menu for BBQ lunch
- Create food shopping list
- Arrange dinner for Monday night @ hotel
- Send out misc. cost info to family members
- Create reunion packets (Lance to do)
- Pack

MSIDTAA
- Send my bio/picture to president for website
- Schedule webinars for 2010/2011
- Create Google Calendar for upcoming events

Contract Work
- Finish reviewing two courses for Chevron's PTEC Phase IV
- Create Flash exercise for Chevron's Ross Hill contract
- Create TOC for Ross Hill Contract
- Bill Westmed for additional database support time
- Send in new contract
- Assist w/ four seminars at Coastline's Summer Technology Institute

Primary
- Plan and Teach Sharing Time for all of July
- Update rosters & rolls w/ new move-ins
- Update blog for July

Misc.
- Sign up EB for swimming lessons
- Work out at gym three times a week (for sanity purposes)
- Reschedule teeth cleaning
- Take glucose tolerance test

Tired yet?  Here's to praying fervently I can get all of this done by August 1st AND that these happenings don't send me into pre-term labor! 

Fold your paws, Sofi

Though Elisabeth isn't the most reverent child during family prayer, she sure loves it.  She always calls the dog into the bedroom for family prayer or when we have visitors, such as Uncle "Wootie" and Ralphie Dog, they must join us as well.   "Family Pwayer Time"  She rarely keeps her arms folded for more than one second and never closes her eyes.  Nor does she sit in one spot - she is usually trying to jump on our bed or twirl the rocking chair around or even run down the hallway.

But she is the arm folding police.

Last night, these words came out of her mouth and are still making me smile today.

"Fold your paws, Sofi.  Come on, Sofi.  Fold your paws."

I can't help but feel sorry for this poor beagle.  I think it is possible to love a dog too much.

Finding Joy

Having a toddler teaches me many things.  More than anything, Elisabeth has taught me to find joy in everyday life.  How much less stressed would be as adults if we. . . 

Wore whatever we felt like wearing, regardless of the occasion.  And sang uplifting songs like "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" whenever we put those clothes on.

Took our dog on a walk every day.

Stopped to smell the flowers.

And held hands with someone special to us.

Yup, I think she has figured it out.

Because I just can't seem to relax. . .

Someone nominated me to be the VP of Programs for the MSIDT Alumni Association.  No worries, I think.  There has to be multiple candidates.  No one will vote for me.

Wrong, as usual. I am the only one up for the position.  Granted, the Alumni Association only has a few events during the year but . . .still.

My guess is it is one of these two - my grad school partners in crime, Randy and Tai:

Good thing I am so forgiving.

We also sent in our notice to vacate our lease this week.  We have been talking about moving to a smaller, cheaper place for a few years.  Last year didn't work out as we had guests the time of the move.  I know it is the rational and logical decision as we want to buy a house and that won't happen as long as we are paying as much as we do for rent.

Anyone want to explain to me why I haven't been able to stop crying since I sealed up the letter of our fate?  I seriously want to go back to that big, blue mailbox and somehow figure out how to rescue this notice to vacate from the letters inside. Or beg Lance to call our landlord back and tell him we changed our mind.  Major regret.  I do want to buy a house.  I do want to save money.  But I can't stand to say goodbye to this house.  We have lived here longer than we have lived anywhere before and I love it. Plus, I hate to say goodbye to the jacuzzi bathtub.  And, let's face it.  I loathe moving more than snakes.  Which is probably more than I loathe anything in this world.

Maybe we should just not pack up or leave and keep sending in rent.  Maybe they won't notice.